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The following steps are all part of the first book, How to be German in fifty easy steps, which was released by C.H.Beck as a dual-language book in July 2013. Quite a few of which you can read online.

1. Put on your house shoes

2. Eat a long breakfast

3. Planning, Preparation & Process

4. Get some insurances

5. Dress seriously

6. Speak German

7. Outgesourced, downgeloaded & upgegraded

8. Obey the red man

9. Drink Apfelsaftschorle

10. Drink mixed beverages

11. Eat German Food

12. Know your potatoes

13. The answer is to bring Kartoffelsalat

14. Eat German Bread

15. “Mahlzeit!”

16. Hate the GEZ & GEMA

17. Learn how to open a beer bottle with anything but a bottle opener

18. Say what you mean

19. Speak freely about sex

20. Do nothing on Sundays

21. Watch Tatort

22. It is not true until you’ve read it at Spiegel Online

23. Always send friendly greetings

24. Prost!!!

25. Drink Bionade, buy Bio

26. Recycle

27. Stick to the rules

28. Love your car

29. Klugscheißen

30. Interrogate jokes

31. Don’t light your cigarettes from a candle

32. Fenster auf Kipp

33. Feel mixed about Berlin

34. Hate Bavaria

35. Hate the Saxony dialect

36. Pick a side, respect the divide

37. Fahre Schwarz

38. Get qualified

39. Enlarge your CV

40. Find a “real” job

41. Fail at sarcasm

42. Learn to enjoy bureaucracy

43. Gut gut, Naja, Ach so, Alles klar & Und sonst so

44. Practicality trumps everything

45. Travel seriously

46. Know that birthdays are serious business

47. Watch Dinner for One on New Year’s Eve

48. Forget anything you were ever told about fireworks

49. Hate Schlager, know every word

50. Say Tsssssssssssschüü-hüsssssssss

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In August 2016 the follow-up book of the next fifty steps was released, again by C.H.Beck.

51. Poker Face

52. Find the Beauty in Brevity

53. The Bahn Purge

54. Suffer Third Reich Fever

55. Ostalgiekapitalismuskonflikt

56. Get Repeatedly Asked About David Hasselhoff

57. Kaffee and Kuchen

58. Don’t Go to Oktoberfest

59. Give Men Their Own Official Holiday

60. Be Apathetic about October 3rd.

61. Don’t Own a Microwave

62. Tja

63. Do It Yourself

64. Make Fun of Austria; Fear Switzerland

65. The German Christmas

66. Weihnachtsmärkte

67. Respect the Educational Superiority of Wood

68. Forecast the Future with Lead

69. Be Terrified of Mould

70. Cash Is King

71. Spending Is Silver, Saving is Gold

72. Suffer Car and Time Blindness

73. Rent, Don’t Buy

74. Normung

75. Verschlimm Your Besserung

76. Einschulung and Zuckertüte

77. Volkshochschule

78. Blame the Weather

79. If That Fails, Blame Yourself

80. Bleib Pessimistich

81. Be Schaulustig

82. Plagiarise Your Dissertation

83. Parade Your Politicians

84. Love Scandinavia

85. Reject Patriotism

86. Be Doubtful About the Existence of Bielefeld

87. Fail at Flirting

88. Dress Normcore

89. When You Move, Take Your Kitchen (and Your Light Sockets)

90. Fear Bureaucracy (Irrationally)

91. Fall Down the Gender Gap

92. Respect the Origin of Words

93. Give Your Senf

94. The Apotheke

95. Unbreakable Contracts

96. Experience Springerschmerz

97. Respect the Zimmermann

98. Pilzesammeln und Naturfähigkeit

99. Kassekegeln

100. Become a Kicker Maestro

OUR BOOKS

3dcover
spiegel-bestseller

Required reading for all Ausländer and Germans who sometimes have the feeling they don’t understand their own country. We learn why the Germans speak so freely about sex, why they are so obsessed with Spiegel Online and why they all dream of being naked in a lake of Apfelsaftschorle. At the end, the only thing left to say to Adam Fletcher’s love letter to Germany is “Alles klar!” More than 100k copies sold!

Released: 2013   Length: 192 pages  Languages: EN/DE  Publisher: C.H. Beck Illustrator: Robert M. Schöne

book_deu_small
spiegel-bestseller

An illustrated love letter to the language of our adopted home. Join us as we take you on a tour through some of the German language’s greatest words, expressions, proverbs and language possibilities, all wrapped up for international delivery in the form of Denglisch!

Released:  2014    Length:  240 pages       Languages:  EN/DE     Publisher: Ullstein   Co-Author: Paul Hawkins    Illustrator: Robert M. Schöne

After two best-selling books I find I’ve become somewhat of a pundit for German life. Unsure about my position I take on a series of integration challenges. Readers will learn:

  • What happens when someone of no musical talent creates a Schlager song.
  • Why you shouldn’t accept a ride from a Mitfahrgelegenheitvan containing a mattress and a cat with one eye.
  • What watching seventy hours of German TV in a week does to your health.
  • Why you shouldn’t attend a Schützenfest if you can neither drink nor march.

Released: 2015  Length: 400 pages  Languages: EN/DE Publisher: Ullstein.

Fifty new and advanced integration steps that explain the sticky friendship glue of Kaffee und Kuchen, the educational superiority of wood, and the rituals of the German Weihnachtsmarkt. You’ll learn how to blame the weather for most of your ailments, how to survive a visit to your local Baumarkt, why Germans take their kitchen when they move, and why you keep losing to them at table football. Adam Fletcher’s book is the ultimate, irreverent love letter to a nation that has gotten so under his skin.

Released: 2016  Length: 192 pages  Languages: EN/DE  Publisher: C.H. Beck Illustrator: Robert M. Schöne